According to Urban Dictionary, a DENTIST is:
"A dentist is a man or woman, who takes great delight in hurting you. He does this with his vast collection of Sharp Shiny & Scary tools. Once he's managed to make you either cry or pass out from pain - he charges you for it."
"A rich chap that sticks needles in your gums, wrenches around all your teeth, drills holes in your teeth, and bruises your face."
Want to know what scares me EVEN more than the dentist? The DOCTOR.
DOCTOR:
"One who goes to school for 16ish years only to have no idea what is wrong with you."
Although the dentist sounds EVEN worse, I have decided it is truly just the doctor. After all, the dentist sets up a few appointments with you, maybe a couple of root canals are scheduled (which i have experienced...TWICE! By the way) but the pain is gone in a few days! Doctors on the other hand... you can NEVER leave their office happy. They always tell you what's wrong with you, what you're doing wrong, how you're dying/how much longer you have to live, or that you have a new disease they have no name for. So my mom wanted me to go to the doctor to figure out why I am so prone to cavities.... and have to see the dentist all the time.
I can't eat food, or brush my teeth with toothpaste before my little check-up... So naturally, the night before I drank a big glass of water ...Not smart on my part cause I couldn't fall asleep due to needing to pee. But it was the only thing I could do to be able to make myself deliver the half a cup of pee they wanted sampled in this coffee cup! ALL NIGHT I fought the urge to wet my bed like a 3 year old, and then this morning when I was immersed in shower water! So quickly on our way out the door, I pulled on a baggy sweatshirt not thinking I needed a shirt underneath. We get there, I peed enough for like 20 samples, THEN they ask me to spit in a cup... which is harder than it sounds! I may drool, but not to the point to fill a tiny cup! So by this point, I thought my deeds were done... Oh no! I was wrong. I had to meet 2 strangers who needed me to take off my sweatshirt cause they couldn't reach my pulse in my arm through the sweatshirt.... After nearly passing out, they gave it back to me. Then I met this 30ish year old male doctor to ask me about how ...."aunt flo"... is. I don't give this kind of information out to my friends I've known for 10 years! Lets just say, our conversation was the most personal I've ever had with ANYONE after meeting them 30 seconds prior to our little chat. If I could have left then, I might be able to forget all that happened before that.... but until he said those mean mean words.... "I think you will have to stay away from dairy products..." and then said the list consisting of.... Milk, Yogurt, Milk, BUTTER, Milk, Cheese, Milk, ICE-CREAM, MILK!!! Lets just say....It's been kind of a rough day for me.... I basically came home and cried. OVER DAIRY PRODUCTS. Because somehow dairy connects back to why my teeth are awful?? I love dairy! We're like best friends! We're close! I can't just SLAM the door on my friend! Who does that? So now I get to get my blood drawn on Monday... to see if I am for sure lactose intolerant. Let me just warn you not to be fooled by the "friendly" smile they put on for you... it's all a hoax.
"A dentist is a man or woman, who takes great delight in hurting you. He does this with his vast collection of Sharp Shiny & Scary tools. Once he's managed to make you either cry or pass out from pain - he charges you for it."
"A rich chap that sticks needles in your gums, wrenches around all your teeth, drills holes in your teeth, and bruises your face."
Want to know what scares me EVEN more than the dentist? The DOCTOR.
DOCTOR:
"One who goes to school for 16ish years only to have no idea what is wrong with you."
Although the dentist sounds EVEN worse, I have decided it is truly just the doctor. After all, the dentist sets up a few appointments with you, maybe a couple of root canals are scheduled (which i have experienced...TWICE! By the way) but the pain is gone in a few days! Doctors on the other hand... you can NEVER leave their office happy. They always tell you what's wrong with you, what you're doing wrong, how you're dying/how much longer you have to live, or that you have a new disease they have no name for. So my mom wanted me to go to the doctor to figure out why I am so prone to cavities.... and have to see the dentist all the time.
I can't eat food, or brush my teeth with toothpaste before my little check-up... So naturally, the night before I drank a big glass of water ...Not smart on my part cause I couldn't fall asleep due to needing to pee. But it was the only thing I could do to be able to make myself deliver the half a cup of pee they wanted sampled in this coffee cup! ALL NIGHT I fought the urge to wet my bed like a 3 year old, and then this morning when I was immersed in shower water! So quickly on our way out the door, I pulled on a baggy sweatshirt not thinking I needed a shirt underneath. We get there, I peed enough for like 20 samples, THEN they ask me to spit in a cup... which is harder than it sounds! I may drool, but not to the point to fill a tiny cup! So by this point, I thought my deeds were done... Oh no! I was wrong. I had to meet 2 strangers who needed me to take off my sweatshirt cause they couldn't reach my pulse in my arm through the sweatshirt.... After nearly passing out, they gave it back to me. Then I met this 30ish year old male doctor to ask me about how ...."aunt flo"... is. I don't give this kind of information out to my friends I've known for 10 years! Lets just say, our conversation was the most personal I've ever had with ANYONE after meeting them 30 seconds prior to our little chat. If I could have left then, I might be able to forget all that happened before that.... but until he said those mean mean words.... "I think you will have to stay away from dairy products..." and then said the list consisting of.... Milk, Yogurt, Milk, BUTTER, Milk, Cheese, Milk, ICE-CREAM, MILK!!! Lets just say....It's been kind of a rough day for me.... I basically came home and cried. OVER DAIRY PRODUCTS. Because somehow dairy connects back to why my teeth are awful?? I love dairy! We're like best friends! We're close! I can't just SLAM the door on my friend! Who does that? So now I get to get my blood drawn on Monday... to see if I am for sure lactose intolerant. Let me just warn you not to be fooled by the "friendly" smile they put on for you... it's all a hoax.
