Thank You Tear Ducts

What You Think You Look Like When You Cry:

What You ACTUALLY Look Like When You Cry: 

Well. At least that's how it feels in my book. 

cry/krī/ noun

the release of liquid from the tear ducts when: 

a) one is depressed or sad 
b) one is extremely happy 
c) one has to urinate badly 
d) one is trying to manipulate a person into doing whatever they want them to do 
e) one is being manipulated
f) one has an eye irritation

*Examples:

1.) The Nicholas Sparks Cry: You just read a Nicholas Sparks book, and even though all of his books are relatively similar...You can't help but cry sometimes! Even though you NEVER cry while reading a book! ...This cry, is the type where you hide in your room cause you feel so pathetic. You also tend to talk to yourself saying things like "HOW DO YOU WRITE SOMETHING LIKE THIS?!" and "THAT JERK! IF ONLY HE'D COME SOONER! WHAT WERE YOU THINKING!?"

2.) The I'm Worried For A Friend Cry: When you just wish you could fix your friends problems or know how to help them out... This is a softer, subtle cry, that mainly just makes you feel a little sad and a lot worried... To the point where you stomach just churns, and knots.

3.) The Fake Cry: This cry, is the cry you cry, when you prove to people that you can cry on demand. This cry usually ends in laughs because the people surrounding you aren't sure what to think.

4.) The Dead Guy Cry: Some friend/relative just died and even if he was your step uncles best friend's DOG that you only met once, you still cry SO FLIPPIN' hard because it's so tragic that he got ran over by a car! (Okay. Weird example. Moving on.)

5.) You Cry But You're Not Sure Why: Tends to occur more often in females, generally associated with pms and can only be cured with chocolate ice-cream. (Very similar to the Break Up Cry).

6.) The Baby Cry. (also known as:) No Matter HOW Many Good Days I've Had In My Life, This One Small Insignificant Thing Happened AND THE WORLD IS ABOUT TO END Cry: For the most part, self-explanatory. You usually look like godzilla storming around the house, getting mad at everyone and everything, mascara runs down your face, you hide beneath a hooded sweatshirt, and you hyperventilate to the point where every time you breathe, it sounds like you're snorting. (This cry can happen when hearing bad news, seeing the doctor/dentist, having the hot water run out on you etc.)

7.) The Inexplicably Happy Cry: If you have a Mom; you know what this is. She cries when listening to beautiful music, not burning dinner, having the whole family together, and having baby #6. (This also occurs when a lost pet is found, or a college student is back home, a testimony is strengthened, the Spirit is felt, a celebratory moment occurs, an accomplishment is made, a memory is relived, etc. etc.)


8.) The Laughing Cry: When Something is so stupid THAT IT'S FUNNY. And you cry so hard you worry about peeing your pants. ...And then you do anyway, because you rationalize it with buying new pants.


9.) Chick Flick/Guy Cry: A movie which to a certain individual brings on waterfalls of tears.

Today I cried over #6.

I felt PATHETIC.

But crying somehow relieves you of all of your troubles, and makes it THAT much easier to start over.
And, it gets out what you're thinking, when words fail to express you.
So many people consider crying as a "bad thing"...but if that's truly the case, then why would we be built to cry? It wasn't an accident, else we wouldn't find hundreds of things to cry over. 

So. Thank you tear ducts. Without you I would look truly hideous trying to release emotions. (':

*PLEASE TAKE NOTE THAT ANY "CRIES" NOT LISTED, WOULD BE THE OBVIOUS CRIES THAT WOULD JUST BE CLUTTER IN THIS POST.