profile pet peeves

This is my blog, so these are my thoughts. If you don't like 'em all, I apologize. But here are a few pet peeves I have when girls post profile pictures online:

#1.

They take roughly one million photos to achieve this pursed-lips photo, but somewhere down that road of perfecting the lips, they "forget" to freaking cover up their bra straps. Honestly, pull your shirt up, you're not being sexy and cute, you're being obnoxious and i hate you.


#2.

Stop touching your face. I'm breaking out just looking at you do that.


#3.

Who doesn't love the fake smile, fake lip color, fake white teeth, fake blush, fake dark dazzling eyes, let alone the fake pasty-blemish-free-lack-of-any-dimension-in-your-face...? IT'S FAKE.  I can see it now: "Oh cute make up! What brand?" ... "Picmonkey! I just do my makeup online!"   

O_o

Also, when you apply your mascara, I hope you know that those globs on your eyes kinda looks like spider legs crawling out of your eye... not coooooool.

#4. 

I feel optimistic when girls post a pretty natural/down-to-earth looking selfie!  ...Until you see the caption they paired with it: 

"(: <3 i was trying to fly but i couldnt find wings, u came along and u changed everything <3"

And then I cry. Those lyrics have absolutely nothing to do with your profile picture! (...63 Facebook likes later...) So much wasted potential. *siiiigh*

*****

I'm not meaning to offend or hurt, and I'm hardly the role model for awesome profile pictures myself, I mean, THIS beauty was my last profile picture:

Alright fine, it is awesome.

But come on girls, branch out a little from the wonderful world of phony. Have some fun, and stay classy!

"Taking joy in living is a woman's best cosmetic." - Rosalind Russell